7th-10th

I haven't written for so long that each day that passed is all mashed together.
I can't really say exactly what happened each individual day.
Though I can say, nothing life changing. So in my opinion none of it is worth mentioning.

Days are boring. I'm so bored of this nothingness. I want something to happen, but I'm still such a frail weakling that I'm not actully willing to want ANYTHING to happen. I'm scared of being hurt, or being involved in situations I can't control or don't have a solution to.
I want something to change, but I'm to pathetic to actually do something about it. I'm not willing or wanting it enough to accept anything as possible entertainment.

Sometime I really hate myself, I really am a horribly foolish person. That only deserves to be shown the real world and real work, and to stop feeling so sorry for myself.

And calling myself stupid, foolish and patheitc only shows I'm all the more self certered. To be able to have time and write "poor me" things such as this, I really am a piece of work.
I always speak of "Oh I want to do this, I want to that" but never end up doing it and end up cryin' about it and having more freaking "pity me" time.

I suck, I honestly and seriously SUCK. But you know what saying I suck or what ever else I can call myself isn't helping so what the hell should I do. Ok so I admit that I am in the wrong, now what? It isn't that easy just to admit the wrong and just change just like that. I need to work at it, but I can't get myself to work...
Simply and utterly pathetic.
I really need some super strict person by my side 24/7; kicking me into shape.
Ha one can dream. But you know what, who says I can't try. Hahaha.