Haven't gotten on track and I know it. I let my emotions run how I think, what I do and the choices I make!
How can I expect to get anywhere, if I'm only willing to do something if I feel like it. I know I'll never get anywhere with that kind of attitude. And everything will depend on what goes my way.
It's a complete selfish and foolish way of living. I want to be a wise, upright and selfless individual. Someone I don't have to get so frustrated with! It is very easy to get upset at yourself. And focusing on that is just a waste of time, you just have to take the steps to change! And stop flappin' your lip and start taking action!
I know when another day starts I'm not going to feel the same motivation as the day before, but. I'm going to keep trying. Fighting to make the differece I need, to be and show others we have strength to do what's right. To make a stand, that is harder than the path we see others all around us following.
I know I can make a change, open my eyes as well as those I care for.
If I just keep to the truth. Stay close to the one and only true life and love.
I know I sound hippie-ish, but just because one talks about something that is full of feeling and spirit. Doesn't mean it's full of hocus-pocus.
I simply want to be so much more than I could ever be on my own.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
March 21st
This blog certainly hasn't turned out as I had hoped.
But thinking back, did I really believe I could write every other day on here religiously?
I can't even stick to my "religion" religiously.
I'm so sick of this, I don't know what to do, what to even begin to say or ask. I know I shouldn't lose faith, Jesus is my Lord. But times come when you can't stand on your own feet, and you need to cry be held & carried.
Today my heart & mind is heavy and I have no strength to fight it. I want to reach out for someone, but no one comes to mind. I know the one to be my go to guy is the Lord, but I can't bring myself to call his name.
Something is wrong, has been for awhile. And I can't brake free from it, and I don't know how to ask for help.
Feels like my life is being smothered. Why am I getting attack like this? Why can't I be someone God can be proud of? Why am I always so weak and timid? I have a choice in who I am, what I do and how I act. I don't have to be like this! Yet why haven't I stood up taken action already? Am I really that pathetic?
I'm asking pointless questions, that don't need to be answered. But how can I get the answer I truely need, if I don't know the right question?
I need peace brought unto my mind & soul. I need understanding, love, wisdom, forgivness, faith, strength, patience and mercy.
Lord God almighty, I pray you lead my into where you want me to be. Show me your plans for my life in due time. Please just hold me through my times of troubles. And help me left them up unto you, to take care of. And teach me not to worry or fret.
And let your will be done. Amen.
But thinking back, did I really believe I could write every other day on here religiously?
I can't even stick to my "religion" religiously.
I'm so sick of this, I don't know what to do, what to even begin to say or ask. I know I shouldn't lose faith, Jesus is my Lord. But times come when you can't stand on your own feet, and you need to cry be held & carried.
Today my heart & mind is heavy and I have no strength to fight it. I want to reach out for someone, but no one comes to mind. I know the one to be my go to guy is the Lord, but I can't bring myself to call his name.
Something is wrong, has been for awhile. And I can't brake free from it, and I don't know how to ask for help.
Feels like my life is being smothered. Why am I getting attack like this? Why can't I be someone God can be proud of? Why am I always so weak and timid? I have a choice in who I am, what I do and how I act. I don't have to be like this! Yet why haven't I stood up taken action already? Am I really that pathetic?
I'm asking pointless questions, that don't need to be answered. But how can I get the answer I truely need, if I don't know the right question?
I need peace brought unto my mind & soul. I need understanding, love, wisdom, forgivness, faith, strength, patience and mercy.
Lord God almighty, I pray you lead my into where you want me to be. Show me your plans for my life in due time. Please just hold me through my times of troubles. And help me left them up unto you, to take care of. And teach me not to worry or fret.
And let your will be done. Amen.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Febuary 21st-March 7th
I can't recall the entire couple weeks. But I got my license, I drove alone twice already. I felt so pumped and estatic. Best I've felt in a long time. You defiantly need something from time to time to brighten your spirit and to feel free and childlike.
Also~ More good news my fellow peers. (Ha) I was talking to one of my teachers for a previous class about how I was interested in getting a job since I'm able to drive myself, and I mentioned I really wanted to work at a certain place. And he happened to know the owner! So he suggested to call him up and mention me and put a good word in. And bang! I ended up talking to the owner and he said he doesn't need anyone at the moment, but will in April or May when they get a lot more business. And he said it's real good that I can work in the morning and have more open hours (since I'm homeschooled). So I believe I've got a really good chance with getting a job there! I won't give my hopes up. Everything would just be perfect if it ends up working out. I'll have expeirence with driving, and my car (hopfully by than) will have it's title and be working fine and dandy from having brought it into my autos class to work on.
I like how things are looking and I hope things only keeps getting brighter. :)
Also~ More good news my fellow peers. (Ha) I was talking to one of my teachers for a previous class about how I was interested in getting a job since I'm able to drive myself, and I mentioned I really wanted to work at a certain place. And he happened to know the owner! So he suggested to call him up and mention me and put a good word in. And bang! I ended up talking to the owner and he said he doesn't need anyone at the moment, but will in April or May when they get a lot more business. And he said it's real good that I can work in the morning and have more open hours (since I'm homeschooled). So I believe I've got a really good chance with getting a job there! I won't give my hopes up. Everything would just be perfect if it ends up working out. I'll have expeirence with driving, and my car (hopfully by than) will have it's title and be working fine and dandy from having brought it into my autos class to work on.
I like how things are looking and I hope things only keeps getting brighter. :)
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